Words of Wisdom

Look both ways before crossing the street, don’t talk to strangers, and don’t eat the yellow snow are just a few things parents have taught us.  A parent’s job is to teach their child all that they know so the child is equipped to handle the world.  Parents potty-train their toddlers, teach their teens about money, and discuss investments and insurance with their young adults.  At all stages in life, a parent has some form of knowledge to pass down, having been in the same or similar scenario as their offspring.  Of course my parents taught me the usual, but I feel like there were a couple bits of information I was taught that maybe not every child learns from ma and pa.

1.  Train back then chest, and then work the smaller muscles.  Since my dad was a bodybuilder, he’s well equipped with knowledge about training.  And when I began going to the gym, he showed me how to properly do workouts and explained why you start with the larger muscles first and save the smaller muscles for last (because the larger muscles, like back and chest and quads, can hang in there longer because there’s more to them than say your triceps).  So I get the most out of my workout thanks to my father!

 

2.  Organic food or all natural food tastes differently than processed “food.”  This idea seems simple enough and obvious, but until you’ve been raised on 100% pure maple syrup, organic chocolate bars, and home-made popcorn, you won’t understand how true and glaring the difference in taste is.  When my friends tell me that Aunt Jemima’s syrup tastes the same as pure maple syrup, I merely shake my head.

 

3.  Real soccer players don’t wear pants.  This may seem insane, but in the 14 years I played soccer, I only wore shorts, and to this day if it’s below freezing, you will never see me running in pants.  I get a lot of weird looks, but I was taught you bundle up on your upper body, and now I can’t run in pants.  This was specific to baggier pants, but those tight under armor leggings, I only wear them if I won’t be doing any physical activity outside.

 

4.  Always be polite.  This lesson may be pretty universal, but thank you is now a reflex along with hi, how are you, and have a nice day.  Whenever my mom encountered a disgruntled, unhappy cashier, she’d kill them with kindness.  Her smile never wavered, and the cashier’s rude behavior never proved to be a problem.

 

5.  The classic bands and musicians from back in the day are still talked about today for a reason.  Billy Joel, Aerosmith, Nirvana, Guns N’ Roses, Queen, Van Halen, The Beatles, etc are legendary, and not to be compared to other artists of this day and age, and it’s blasphemous to disrespect them.  Not liking those artists is fine because it may not be your taste in music, but to compare One Direction to the Beatles or downplay the significance of Guns N’ Roses is unheard of.

 

6.  In your purse, ladies, you should always carry a pen.  My mom never leaves the house without her large purse, and there’s always a pen in there.  It comes in handy, I’ve needed to grab the pen from my purse countless times, and anyone who is in need of a pen is always grateful.

 

7.  How to properly shuffle cards is a must needed skill.  I know so many people who just move the cards around on a table, or they can’t do the bridge when shuffling.  Shuffling cards can be calming, but it comes in handy when your friends want to play poker.  It also means you’re automatically the one who shuffles the deck.

 

8.  Any gambling game, you should know how to play.  Texas Hold’em, blackjack, spades, 5 card draw, spoons, you name it, I most likely was taught the rules and I know how to play.  I’m equipped so if  money is ever at stake, I know what I’m doing.  I won’t be clueless, and if necessary I could hustle anyone.

 

9.  Flossing is so important.  After about every meal, my dad flosses, my mom flosses every night, my dad carries floss around with him, hence, I floss about twice a day.  Clean teeth are essential, and no one likes to have food caught between their pearly whites.

 

10.  Bigger or bulk can be better.  When I shop, I check how much of an item I’m getting and how much it costs, and, for the most part, I try to get the most bang for my buck.  For example, when I was purchasing items for college after winter break, it was between one bottle of Axe for $3 dollars, or a pack of two bottles along with a tiny bottle of face wash for about $5.  Obviously I bought the two pack.

 

Mothers & Daughters

I read an article today in which a mother between the ages of 60 and 70 truly looked at her daughter.  The mother recognized her daughter’s age of 40.  The daughter had wrinkles around her eyes and streaks of grey in her hair, her kids were running around their grandmother’s yard.  40 years had gone by and the woman was finally seeing that her daughter was responsible, stressed, happy, busy, and a slew of other adjectives that might describe someone at age 40.  And the mother was shocked at how quickly 40 years had gone by.  Just like that, the daughter had aged and appeared different in her mother’s eyes.

 

Mother and daughters.  Your mom is the first person to greet you in this world.  Your mom changes your diapers.  Your mom teaches you how to ride a bike, how to put makeup on, warns you of boys, tells you you’re beautiful, comforts you after your first heartache, makes you breakfast in the morning, helps you prepare for your wedding, teaches you about money, and loves you unconditionally, even though you may disappoint her, rebel against her, not take her advice, lie to her, upset her, and say things you don’t mean.  My mom always tells me that I’ll never know the love a parent feels for their child unless I have children of my own.

 

The article I read got me thinking because as a child, I never know what my mother is thinking when she looks at me.  When boys look at girls, you know what they are thinking.  When your best friend looks at you, you can tell based upon body language, tone, and what she says what she’s thinking.  You can tell what your sibling is thinking because usually they’re just annoyed with you.  But a daughter may never know what her mother is thinking about her.  What does a mother see?  Does she see all the bad things: her daughter isn’t using sunscreen, her daughter keeps picking at her nails, her daughter is looking a tad round in the middle and plumper in places?  Does a mother see all the things a daughter is doing right: her smile is so genuine and brilliant, the way she talks about her job is inspiring, she looks fit and healthy?  Does a mother see what she did right in raising a child: insisting her daughter wait to have children, telling her about stocks, showing her how to cook?  Does a mother see her daughter still as a child and think about the past and the memories?  Does a mother see a reflection of herself in the woman she has raised?  Does a mother see something I cannot fathom?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

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In writing it is so much better to show rather than tell.  You shouldn’t simply say: she was sad.  You should show: she wiped at the tears cascading down her eyes.  Showing, as opposed to telling, is more descriptive and gives a better picture for what a character looks like and acts.  Similar to life, one should show rather than tell.  And what I mean is that actions speak louder than words; a person should do as opposed to simply say.

 

This weekend, my mother surprised me with a visit at college.  I was shocked when I opened my dorm door and she was standing there.  I had not expected the surprise visit, and I was more than ecstatic to have her with me at college for the weekend.  And, in 33 days from today one of my very best friends will be visiting me as well.  Gestures, such as visits, show how much someone cares.  Now, obviously my mother and my entire family show me how they care and how much they love me; that is not what this blog post is about.  Rather, this blog post is about friendships and realizing who your true friends are.

 

While at college you realize who you are closest with and who will eventually fade away.  My best friends, despite their busy schedules, post things on my wall on Facebook, call me, drop everything to skype with me, write me letters, text me throughout their school year, and inform me about their life at college.  Best friends make an effort to show you that they care about you and that they love you and want you in their life.

 

Some people I consider my friends, but if I were to get hurt by a boy or need someone to vent to or wanted to share my good news, they would be on my list of people to talk to.  I care about them, but since they do not go out of their way for me, I do not make an effort either, and it is mutually understood.  On the other hand, if a good friend hasn’t talked to me in a while, I do not hesitate to call or write them a letter because they have made it known to me that I mean a lot to them and I simply know they are busy.

 

People who have time and time again showed you that they care, really do.  But, if some people only tell you how much they care, they are not putting in enough of an effort to be a very good friend.  If you are doubting how much a friend cares about you, trust your gut, because there’s obviously a reason you feel conflicted about a friendship.  I know someone who has countless times told me they loved me, told me they cared about me, told me they are there for me, and told me I mean so much to said person.  That same person even told me twenty years from now we will be in touch; however, I am skeptical.  The reason for this is simple, this person is all talk and no action.  This person has hurt me in the past, apologized, made excuses, promised to change, and then nothing happens.  And today I realized that I am sick and tired of the words and the promises and the apologies. This person’s words are meaningless to me because there is no action to back them up.  This person’s hollow words have left me feeling bad because I want to believe the words, but every time I end up being let down.  I’ve shown how much I care, I do as I say, I’ve tried to construct a friendship with this person, and it’s trying on my mental state.  In a much earlier post, I vowed to let people go in my life who do not show me that they deserve my friendship, and this may be on of those instances.