Little Bits of Happiness

A close friend of mine started posting on his band’s Facebook page “100 Days of Happiness” in which he posts a picture of something that makes him happy.  So far posts have included a picture of himself with his band when he was 15 years old, a stuffed animal, the names of his alarms on his phone, and a pair of headphones.  I wouldn’t list 100 things that make me happy in one blog post because that’d be a lot to read.  But, I’ve got a nice even list of ten because my Spring Break will be here in one week, and I’m excited, and sometimes you just need a reminder of the little things in life that make it great.

1.  Breakfast.  I look forward to this meal every morning: bacon, eggs, hash browns, waffles, fruit, muffins, oh my.

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2.  A blank page.  There’s nothing like turning a page in your notebook and starting fresh.  The pristine white is inviting and writing is how I express myself, so how could I not enjoy a notebook?

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3.  Flip flops.  When it’s sunny and I can finally pair a cute outfit with flip flops, it means summer is in the air, and I can’t get enough of summer.  Plus, flip flops mean I can paint my toe nails, layer anklets upon anklets and throw on my toe rings.

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4.  A jog.  On a nice day, when I don’t have too much to do, a jog is so refreshing and helps me destress and I feel invincible.

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5.  On a whim movie moments (or at least they feel like movie moments to me).  When I’m in the car with a friend and we decide to just drive around and talk and blare our favorite songs.  When it’s almost midnight and me and a friend decide that we need to go grab a burger.  And those quiet instances when you sneak a kiss despite the chaos that is happening around you.  Moments like those when it’s almost too surreal to be real.

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6.  Listening to my iPod.  Sometimes life gets so hectic and the simple act of putting on my headphones and zoning out or getting in the zone with the help of music makes all the difference.  I wish my life had a soundtrack, and this is the closest I can get.

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7.  Buying groceries.  Food shopping is a liberating experience of free will.  I get to decide how many cartons of strawberries I buy, whether I really need that organic chocolate, and which jar of syrup I should get.  I just love making those little decisions.

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8.  Hugs.  They LITERALLY make my day.  A hug from a friend makes me so happy, and I try to hug all my friends upon seeing them and when we part ways.  I can’t get enough hugs.

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9.  Strawberries.  My favorite fruit.  I can eat pounds of these in one sitting.  And when I have them in my fridge, I cannot wait to eat them.  And when the dining hall serves them, I guarantee, I eat them all.

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10.  The posters plastered to the wall of my dorm.  I’ve made my space my own despite that my residence here is temporary, but because of the decorations I feel at home.  Bring Me the Horizon sits above my desk, Pierce the Veil above my bed and a slew of other screamo bands cover the walls from floor to ceiling, making me like walking into my dorm.  

The Homesickness

When I was maybe in second grade, I distinctly recall I was at a friend’s birthday sleepover party.  We were watching a Goosebumps movie in which a green house plant is created and takes over a basement.  I was bawling my eyes out on the sofa as the other party attendees comforted me and asked me what was wrong.  I said I missed my mom, my dad, my family, my home, and I wanted to sleep in my own bed that night.  I had slept over this girl’s house before, so this was new.  Luckily my house  was only five minutes away, so around midnight my dad came and picked me up and I fell asleep under my sheets under my own roof.  From then on, I could not stand sleepovers.  I tested the waters a few times, but in the end I’d come home.  Or I’d stay really late, but then leave to avoid a sleepover.  I refused to participate in sleep away camps because I knew I couldn’t handle it. For 7th and 8th grade field trips in which we went to another state for a week, my father was a chaperone because I didn’t want to go alone.  I experienced homesickness on a regular basis.  There was even one night I had slept over my grandparent’s house, and I had cried because I missed my parents.

It wasn’t until the tail end of 8th grade and the beginning of high school when I finally overcame my strong dislike for sleepovers and my overwhelming sense of homesickness.  I was breaking away from my past behavior and was home less and less.  I stayed at friend’s houses, hung out until the morning, stayed after school, and like a normal teenager, I probably saw my friends more than my family and I was rarely home.  12th grade I flew in my first plane and went to New Mexico without a parent.

Then when time was ticking for me to go off to college, I started to worry.  I was going to be 730 miles from home, a 12 hour drive, or a plane ticket away, either option would not be feasible or doable to get me back home.  I thought I would get extremely homesick because I hadn’t experienced anything like college, and sleepovers, though I could handle, were not my forte.  I had warned my parents that if I could not handle the distance, I did not want them to come get me.  I told them I had to stick it out, and I would remain at college and toughen up.  I didn’t want homesickness to interfere with my freshman year; I wanted to be a happy, involved, enthusiastic college freshman, not a homesick, sad student.

First quarter was a breeze; I made friends, participated in events and activities; learned and accepted that sometimes I’d be alone and have to be independent, I aced my classes, and skyped every Sunday with my family.  I was never homesick, per say.  I missed my family, of course, and friends, and my cat, but I wasn’t longing to be back home because I was content with college and my college life.  My winter break lasted for over a month, and returning to school was an easy transition.  I had missed my college buds, and was excited for classes to begin.  Winter quarter went the same as fall quarter: homesick was not in my vocabulary.  I spent spring break at my college because I didn’t feel as though it was worth the money to go back home for a few days just to return to school.  I was excited for my spring break, even.  I explored the beautiful city I now reside in, I caught up with friends I hadn’t seen much during the quarter, I relaxed, enjoyed having the dorm to myself, and I simply focused on me and for once.  I was stress free and relaxed.

But as spring break comes to a close and my friends are returning from their homes.  I must admit, there is a pang of homesickness resonating in my heart.  Now, it’s not indescribable homesickness, I am not crying like I did when was little, begging to be brought home (in fact I haven’t even spoken a word of this to my parents, they’ll be reading this in my blog!).  A little part of me wishes I had gone home for spring break.  I miss driving my car, I miss playing with my cat, I mis sitting down at the dinner table and talking to my parents and my brother, I miss my mom’s delicious home-made food (cafeteria cannot compare), I miss my water bed, and I miss the people back home.  I only have ten weeks until I return home, and I know before I even realize it, I’ll have one week to go.  But, for now, I wish I was falling asleep in my own bed.  I want to hug my father good night, and kiss my mom on the forehead and wish her sweet dreams.  And I want my brother to come into my room and sit on the edge of my bed and talk to me for a few minutes before we agree it is time we both surrender to sleep.

 

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Spring Break Goals

My Spring Break starts in 23 days all together and that is only 14 school days.  I have been especially stressed this quarter.  Do not get me wrong, I love all my classes, and I wouldn’t change a thing, but I never feel like I simply have a breather to just relax and enjoy myself.  I am constantly doing school work, and if I’m not, I’m thinking the school work I could be doing.  There are nights, I swear, I’m doing homework in my sleep.  I work ahead, the word procrastinate is not my vocabulary, I always do my extra credit assignments, I take notes about everything, and I spend hours on projects.  My main goal is to get all As in every class, and I feel as though I have dedicated myself to that goal.  Close friends of mine call me a nerd, an overachiever, crazy, and people tell me I stress way too much.

Over my Spring Break I want to kick back and relax before the next quarter rolls around.  So, I’ve decided to set a few goals, nothing lofty, but things I’ve wanted to do the entire quarter yet haven’t had a chance to do because I’ve been so busy with schoolwork.  Over Spring Break I want to focus on me and not on work I have to complete.

1.  Sleep the day away.  I just want to lie in bed all day, not have to get up, chill in my pajamas, nap all day, and just be lazy for once.  I do get sleep at college; I have a bedtime I pretty much stick to, and I get at least 8-10 hours.  But, there are nights in which I just toss and turn because of stress, and I’m usually tired 99% of the day, and some mornings I don’t want to leave my bed, and usually I can’t sleep in.

2.  I want to go to the beach, enjoy some seafood, make a sandcastle, chill under the sun, and play in the ocean waves.  The beach is my favorite place on Earth, and I’m about 30 minutes from a great beach, but I never have the time to go, so I’m going to be a beach bum during my Spring Break.

3.  I want to walk around the city I now reside in.  There are so many shops to be explored and so much to do, and I simply don’t have time to stroll the streets and take in everything.  Plus there’s a new chocolate store I’ve been dying to try.

4.  I want to chill in my school store and simply read the magazines.  I briefly got a chance to do this one day, but I could only spare time for an article.  And I didn’t have time to read the article I was most excited about.  I want to browse the fashion magazines and read about my favorite bands and ponder the pieces in the artsy magazines.  I want to enjoy some easy reading.

5.  I want to go outside and write; I haven’t had a chance to do this all quarter.  Whether I write in a notebook in a beautiful square, or simply type on my laptop at the field by my dorm; I just want to immerse myself in my craft.

6.  I’ve been told I worry about the time too much, and it’s true, I am constantly checking the time because all I can think about is deadlines, when I have to be somewhere, and how much time is left in the day to accomplish tasks.  For at least a day, I do not want to look at the clock.  I don’t want to worry about the hour; I just want to enjoy the day.

7.  There are a plethora of restaurants near me, and I never get a chance to eat out because grabbing something from the cafeteria is simply quicker and allows me to eat and work.  Just once, I’d like to try a new restaurant and enjoy some delicious food, a nice sit down meal, and good company.

Spring Break, I’ve been waiting for you…