Dying to Live

Today in my Nonfiction II class we read a passage from the book Shot In the Heart by Mikal Gilmore.  It was a gripping tale about his brother, Gary Gilmore, who viciously shot two innocent people.  The death penalty had been illegal prior to this incident, but the state of Utah invoked the death penalty specifically for Gary.  Gary’s brother, Mikal, didn’t want his name associated with the return of the death penalty and so tried to ensure his brother would, rather, have a life sentence.  Mikal’s thoughts on death and capital punishment are eye opening as well as thought provoking.  Gary wanted to die because he didn’t want to suffer in jail for the rest of his life.  And as Mikal points out, one cannot argue with death, it usually comes without warning, but not in Gary’s case.

Death is a somber subject, but much has been written about death because of how mysterious it is, yet how it’s a constant in everyone’s life.  Eventually in some shape and at some time, death will claim us all.  And as Ronnie Radke so cleverly penned, “If we are born to die and we all die to live/Then what’s the point of living life if it just contradicts?”  Fascinating, right?  And such a true, although pessimistic, statement.

I’m not trying to bum anyone out, but I’d like to share some insightful and gorgeous words about death.

1.  “Dying is an art, like everything else.  I do it exceptionally well.” – Sylvia Plath

2.  “From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am them and that is eternity.” – Edvard Munch

3.  “You have a choice.  Live or die.  Every breath is a choice.  Every minute is a choice.  Every time you don’t throw yourself down the stairs, that’s a choice.  Every time you don’t crash your car, you re-enlist.” – Chuck Palahnuik

4.  “Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put he gun to your chest.” – Ellen Hopkins

4.  “But we try so hard not to die, sometimes we forget to appreciate life.” – The Spill Canvas

5.  “I’d drive my car off of the bridge if I knew that you weren’t inside.  Put the pedal to the floor, who could ask for more?  A fantastic way to kill some time.” – Brand New

6.  “The calm cool face of the river asked me for a kiss.” -Langston Hughes

7.  “Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.” – Bring Me the Horizon

8.  “Will someone tell me what it means to be alive?  It feels just like the feeling when you die.” – Pierce the Veil

9.  “Can’t you see it’s better to die on your feet than to live down on your knees?” – Dan Nigro

10.  “The death of one is a tragedy, but the death of a million is just a statistic.” – Marilyn Manson

Writing VS. Talking

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The other day I told someone that I can more clearly put into words how I am feeling through writing rather than actually talking about my emotions.  This statement to me seemed disjointed and silly after I said it.  Isn’t talking just saying the words I put on to paper and basically thinking aloud?

But, after much thought I’ve concluded that  talking and writing are, in fact, very different.  Talking is about conversation, and typically it’s simple, involving slang and expressions, and happens quickly without much thinking.  Sure, we think before we speak, but usually when we do that we are trying to make our statement clear to others or not offend anyone.  Writing, on the other hand, is a pouring out of emotions, it’s personal on every level, and beautiful, and refined.  Writing for me is truth.  If someone asks me how I am, my usual reply is excellent, simply out of habit.  By saying that word I divulge nothing because it is a meaningless statement.  But, if I were given a pen and paper, I’d fine tune and pinpoint my exact emotion, whether I be elated and actually excellent or upset and vulnerable.

Writing is a form of expression, and yes talking includes words and is also a form of expression, but writing is a process of saying exactly what needs to be said using the precise words to make your statement clear.  And those who write have a style all their own, only making their written piece even more unique and personal.

And to finish up, I never would have been able to talk to my friend about all this and verbalize all of my thoughts; it was easier to write how I truly felt.