Writer Problems

1.  Not knowing when to stop editing something.  Because a piece can always go through more drafts.

 

2.  Running out of ink when you bring a pen somewhere.  Because it’s only when a writing implement isn’t nearby that a great idea comes to you.

 

3.  Not being able to find your go-to notebook filled with ideas.  Because it feels like a part of you is missing.

 

4.  When someone asks you to write about them.  Because you’ll probably insult them in some fashion or you just can’t write about people you know.

 

5.  Unsure if you should bring your laptop or your notebook or both.  Because sometimse it’s best to type something, and other times a piece is still in its scribble down words in a notebook phase, but sometimes you can’t tell, and lugging around both makes one’s bag heavy.

 

6.  Editing everything.  Because you become a grammar nazi and have penned edits on pamphlets, magazines, and other’s work.

 

7.  Can’t read without a pen in your hand.  Because that metaphor is just too good to pass up and the word “red” definitely has to lead to a theme and you didn’t know the definition of  petrichor.

 

8.  Choosing the main character’s name for a piece.  Because the name has to sound right, the meaning needs to encompass everything your character is, the spelling needs to look good on paper; and it’s practically the most crucial decision.

 

9.  About to fall asleep and THEN getting the best ideas.  Thusly sacrificing sleep.

 

10.  Writer’s block.  Because if we’re not writing, our life has no purpose.

More Music

I wish I could go to a concert every day.  I wish music just played from my shoes so silence no longer existed.  I wish I reviewed albums for a living.  Music is my life, even though I am not a musician.  And because so many great albums are being released or have been (La Dispute, Breathe Carolina, Taking Back Sunday, The Pretty Reckless, Onward Etc), music’s been on my mind.  So do enjoy some quotes about music because I just can’t get enough of it:

 

1.  “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” – Bob Marley

 

2.  “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.”  – Victor Hugo

 

3.  “Music became my religion, the record store my church, the rock stars my saints, and their songs my hymns.” – Dave Grohl

 

4.  “Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid.” – Langston Hughes

 

5.  “That’s one of the great things about music.  You can sing a song to 85,000 people and they’ll sing it back for 85,000 different reasons.” – Dave Grohl

 

6. “Music can change the world because it can change people.” – Bono

 

7.  “Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” – Plato

 

8.  “Music is to the soul what words are to the mind.” – Modest Mouse

 

9.  “You’re like a song that I heard when I was a little kid but forgot I knew until I heard it again.” – Maggie Stiefvater

 

10.  “Music is the strongest form of magic.” – Marilyn Manson

 

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Stage Fright to Stage Delight

I have terrible stage fright.  I can barely speak up in class; I start to sweat, I begin to shake, and I can barely articulate a coherent thought.  I’m quiet in groups, always the butt of the sarcastic joke, “Don’t be so loud” and “You’re hogging the conversation.”  To top it off, I have a soft voice.  So when I do speak up, usually no one hears me and I am forced to repeat myself, over and over again, and the more embarrassed and flustered I become.  And yelling…not my thing.

But, despite my uber stage fright, somehow I manage to read my poetry to strangers in a coffee shop.  And not only do I simply read, I’ve polled people in the cafe and I tell them brief anecdotes.  I wouldn’t go so far to say that I am comfortable on stage.  I’m not an actor nor am I performer.  I cannot be completely vulnerable in front of a crowd.  However, the spotlight and having one’s attention is appealing and exhilarating.

Sophomore year of high school there was an open mic night called Coffeehouse.  Typically, there were only musical acts, but I decided to read poetry with some friends because I knew I couldn’t handle it alone.  No one messed up reading, but I remember freaking out the entire night, before and after presenting.  I don’t remember any one clapping, and I remember it was over quite quickly.  And I swore I’d never do that to myself again.

I don’t know what changed, but now every other week, or as often as I can, I read my poetry at open mic nights.  I even go so far to create an event on Facebook and invite everyone I’ve met who lives near me to attend.

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I don’t like being the center of attention.  But, for once, I am extremely proud of what I’ve written and I’m excited to share it with other people.  It’s enchanting, reading something you’ve written and knowing you’re affecting people in some way.  I’ve had people, after a poetry reading, tell me they’ve felt the same way before, or that my piece almost made them cry.  It’s empowering.  And though my poems are fleeting for the few minutes I speak, I feel so relevant and like I have something to give to the world.

New Blog!

I am very excited to announce that I have begun a new blog!  Live, Laugh, Lyrics will still exist, so do not fret.  My new blog, which I encourage you to visit and please support: http://alliterationavenue.wordpress.com will contain my poetry.  I am in the midst of writing a poetry compilation, and would like to share my work thus far with others, receive feedback, explore certain subject matter, and Alliteration Avenue will provide me just that.

I plan on posting to Alliteration Avenue at least once a week.  I’ll share new content, poems I’ve never let anyone read before, and old ones that I’m still proud of.  I hope you enjoy my writing, and please tell your friends and family.

With Love,

Brianna

Dying to Live

Today in my Nonfiction II class we read a passage from the book Shot In the Heart by Mikal Gilmore.  It was a gripping tale about his brother, Gary Gilmore, who viciously shot two innocent people.  The death penalty had been illegal prior to this incident, but the state of Utah invoked the death penalty specifically for Gary.  Gary’s brother, Mikal, didn’t want his name associated with the return of the death penalty and so tried to ensure his brother would, rather, have a life sentence.  Mikal’s thoughts on death and capital punishment are eye opening as well as thought provoking.  Gary wanted to die because he didn’t want to suffer in jail for the rest of his life.  And as Mikal points out, one cannot argue with death, it usually comes without warning, but not in Gary’s case.

Death is a somber subject, but much has been written about death because of how mysterious it is, yet how it’s a constant in everyone’s life.  Eventually in some shape and at some time, death will claim us all.  And as Ronnie Radke so cleverly penned, “If we are born to die and we all die to live/Then what’s the point of living life if it just contradicts?”  Fascinating, right?  And such a true, although pessimistic, statement.

I’m not trying to bum anyone out, but I’d like to share some insightful and gorgeous words about death.

1.  “Dying is an art, like everything else.  I do it exceptionally well.” – Sylvia Plath

2.  “From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am them and that is eternity.” – Edvard Munch

3.  “You have a choice.  Live or die.  Every breath is a choice.  Every minute is a choice.  Every time you don’t throw yourself down the stairs, that’s a choice.  Every time you don’t crash your car, you re-enlist.” – Chuck Palahnuik

4.  “Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put he gun to your chest.” – Ellen Hopkins

4.  “But we try so hard not to die, sometimes we forget to appreciate life.” – The Spill Canvas

5.  “I’d drive my car off of the bridge if I knew that you weren’t inside.  Put the pedal to the floor, who could ask for more?  A fantastic way to kill some time.” – Brand New

6.  “The calm cool face of the river asked me for a kiss.” -Langston Hughes

7.  “Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.” – Bring Me the Horizon

8.  “Will someone tell me what it means to be alive?  It feels just like the feeling when you die.” – Pierce the Veil

9.  “Can’t you see it’s better to die on your feet than to live down on your knees?” – Dan Nigro

10.  “The death of one is a tragedy, but the death of a million is just a statistic.” – Marilyn Manson

Cheers to a New Year

A New Year means resolutions, self-assesments, utter joy, maybe some sadness, and new beginnings.  Along with accidentally writing 2013 on papers because we’re still not quite used to that 4 replacing the 3.  May everyone’s 2014 be filled with good health, happiness, and great people.  I begin the New Year hard and fast: applications for possible careers with my college, seven goals to hopefully better me as a person, and a yearning to start my classes and excel.  2014 here we go!

 

As promised earlier in December in a previous post, here’s a poem I finished while on winter break.  Hope you enjoy it:

 

How To Mend a Broken Heart

 

Staggered ribs and mangled sentences.

Wheezing lungs and lousy adverbs.

I’m crying paragraphs tonight.

My bones have liquefied into

sunken, damned black ink.

 

Wasted.  Words.

 

Is love a mere noun tossed,

around like a baseball?

I don’t know.

 

The rhythmic enunciation of my heart

jarringly stutters and heaves.

Much like my breathing

and my language.

Ignited.

Then hushed.

Just to burn again.

And scream.

 

I’ll keep my tears in jars for inspiration.

And with horizontal precision

I’ll pen lines across my wrists.

Across my knees.

Across my stomach.

My lower back.

My chest.

My neck.

Beautifully bleeding words.

Staining the white parchment.

I’ll write my heart

back

together

again.

 

My Own Deadline

What does it take to write something moving, mesmerizing, powerful, and beautiful?  It’s a recipe of inspiration, motivation, determination, a Thesaurus, some inner monologues that go something like: well I like this paragraph, but I don’t know if it really belongs here, but then I’d have to change that last sentence, and actually this character’s name should be changed, and I don’t know if that fragment is helping, etc; a few tears, memories, frustration, and tons and tons of editing.

I hate to confess, but I haven’t been motivated to write.  I’ve been inspired; I’m always inspired to write.  I’m reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and her conversational tone urges me to write.  I’m also reading Lucy Howard Taylor’s book, Biting Anorexia and her well crafted prose insist I grab a pen.  The time I have on my hands; the hours I have to myself, practically taunt me into opening a new Word Document.  But, I don’t.  I haven’t.

How can I claim the title of a writer if I don’t execute?  I wrote all quarter long, editing essays, typing up stories, I even wrote a poem one night.  I’m so used to deadlines telling me when and what to write.  Those deadlines have been lifted for my break, and all of a sudden the freedom to write leaves my mind a little scattered.  Evident in the fact that I’m reading three different books, and a magazine.  In the shower, I’ve created so many little snippets of future works, but nothing coherent and complete.  My energy hasn’t gone into writing.  It’s gone into the paintings I’ve made for friends for Christmas gifts; it’s gone into the 12 handwritten letters I’ve sent, it’s gone into the workouts I get up and do each morning, it’s gone into the books I’m reading.  And that’s okay, we all need a respite.

HOWEVER, just to stay on track, I’d like to share some snippets I have written that I’m fond of:

Your teeth as white as notebook paper.

Fill my lungs with ice.

My frozen breath shall lay

heavy on your chest.

Maybe I can save face through the mangled sentences I fabricate.

I’ve been picking apart my skin.

Hoping you would listen.

My flesh begs to be seen.

But I’m not just a body.

The secretion of words.

Do you know what I said?

Can you repeat my secrets?

What thought is locked in my head?

You’re speechless again.

The piano keys remind me of teeth.

Gnawing, grinding chomping on my heart strings.

This emaciated melody isn’t enough.

With that said, here’s my own personal deadline.  Before the new year arrives, I WILL write something, completely for myself.  Whether it be a short story or a poem, most likely the latter, but I will do it because I don’t like to lie, and this blog is all about life and truth, so thusly.  And for the new year, I’ll share it, so be sure to keep reading!

Fear of the Future

When people ask me in ten years what I think I’ll be doing or where I’ll be, I honestly draw a blank.  Sure, I have a dream that one day I’ll lounge on a beach, sand between my toes, furiously typing the next great novel, or maybe I’ll happily sit at a sleek desk telling 11th graders what it means to use economy in one’s writing, or maybe I’ll listen to Pierce the Veil’s fifth album, trying to choose just the right adjective to describe the fourth track because I’ll be employed by Rolling Stone and diehard fans will want to know.  But, the future and my dreams don’t necessarily go hand in hand or exist together.  I don’t know if every other undergrad is as worried about the future as I am, but people, professors, peers, parents always stress and ask what you want to do with your life and your career.

 

Just today in my Nonfiction class, we discussed how it’s always better to start sooner rather than later on building your career.  As a writer this means getting published, trying to get an internship with a local magazine or writing for your university’s newspaper, and constantly critiquing your own work and writing in your spare time.  We need to have experience because my professor stressed, you don’t go from a college graduate to writing for Vanity Fair; you have to work your way to the top.

 

However, I’m worried that I’m not doing enough to gain my potential career.  As of now, in about 4 hours I’m going to a session to learn more about an internship this summer teaching 2nd – 12th graders.  Over my break I’m trying to substitute teach in the local area.  I have this blog and I write poetry in my spare time.  However, there’s a girl in my Nonfiction class who already has an internship with a local magazine, and another girl in my class started her own zine.  And then I think, well what am I doing?  I always feel as if I could be doing more to advance my career: I could have an internship right now, I could send my work to various publications, I could have started writing a book, etc.

 

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels inadequate, but when people bring up the idea of a paycheck and paying bills and one’s future career, you cannot help but fret.  The mysteriousness of the future is terrifying in itself, but when a professor stresses that you can’t prepare for your career too much, and your parents insist that you need to get a good job to pay off your debt, and your peers upon first meeting you wonder what you want to do with your major; it can be overwhelming.  I don’t have everything figured out; I won’t even in ten years because life will present itself in some way that I cannot prepare for or expect.  I guess for now, the best thing to do is turn my worries and fears into motivation to work hard.  Hard work pays off and that’s the ultimate goal.

Need More Writing

Someone asked me what made me want to write, and I struggled with an answer.  I replied that in first grade we were given an allotted time to write stories, and it was my favorite part of the day.  I described that I wrote a rhyming poem on my white board at home that made my mother cry because of the subject matter.  I explained that writing is my drug and I’m addicted.  I’ve been doing so much writing lately because I am taking Nonfiction and Fiction, and I couldn’t be happier.  I’ve composed a list of quotes all about writing, literature, poetry, and authors because I simply cannot get enough:

 

1.  “Every good writer writes shitty first drafts.” – Anne Lamont

 

2.  “That is part of the beauty of all literature.  You discover that your longings are universal, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone.  You belong.”  – F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

3.  “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato

 

4.  “There is nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” – Ernest Hemingway

 

5.  “The crown of literature is poetry.” – William Somerset Maugham 

 

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6.  “A short story is a different thing all together – a short story is like a kiss in the dark from a stranger.” – Stephen King

 

7.  “For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word.” – Catherine Drinker Bown

 

8.  “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” – Stephen King

 

9.  “Writers live twice.” – Natalie Goldberg

 

10.  “Writing isn’t just a hobby for me or a way to pass the time. I write because I need to. Because words flow through my head to my fingertips and beg for life. I write as a way of life. I write to relive memories. I write to forget. I write to escape. I write to create. I write to stay sane. I write, yes, because I want to, but also because I have to. Because writing is a part of me that grows and thrives with me. I write to understand. Understand the world around me and the people who inhabit this world. I write to understand myself. I write to express myself. I write because it makes me happy. But, I also write when the sadness or anger or loneliness is too overwhelming and writing only makes it worse. I write to inspire others. I write because I’m inspired. I write because I need to. I write because I don’t know how not to.”  – Me

You Know You’re A Writer When…

As writer’s we’re passionate about words, we love to create characters, dialogue, and plots, and we enjoy reading.  For a few laughs, I hope you enjoy this funny (yet totally true), blog post.  YOU KNOW YOU’RE A WRITER WHEN:

 

1.  You write your Christmas cards as if you’re writing the next Great Gatsby.

 

2.  You go to parties and read the titles of the host’s books, and secretly judge the host on their chosen literature.

 

3.  You know at least ten synonyms for the word “blue.”

 

4.  You become so emotionally attached to your characters that you actually cry when something bad happens to them or you call your mother to tell her what wonderful event took place in your character’s life.

 

5.  You never leave home without a notebook and a pen.

 

6.  You always use proper grammar.

 

7.  You narrate in your head as you go about doing everyday tasks.

 

8.  It’s 3 AM in the morning and you cannot fall asleep because you need to open a Word Document and begin writing because your writer’s block finally went away and now you’re just full of ideas.

 

9.  You collect words and sentences.

 

10.  In your free time, all you do is write, think about writing, or you read.

 

11.  You leave a character unnamed for more than 10 pages simply because you are waiting for it to hit you because the name must capture everything the character stands for.

 

12.  Something terrible happens in your life or a friend’s life and you think, “Wow, this is good material for my next book.”

 

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